Chapter 1 A Chapter 1 B Chapter 2. Chapter 3 Chapter 4A Chapter 4b Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8. Chapter 9. Chapter 10
Everyone was so good to us. John Morf, the chairman of my school board, and the lady who was president of the P.T.A. came with about $170 that the Lone Tree community had raised. The bishop offered money which I didn’t need. So much food was brought. I didn’t want food from the church welfare, but they brought it anyway for a couple of months, until I insisted they stop. An insurance man I scarcely knew came a couple of days after the funeral and insisted I accompany him to the Social Security office where he helped my apply for benefits for the children. I didn’t get any because I was employed. Because of that kind man, we began to get benefits in about two months. By the time I’d have thought of applying I’d really have been short of money. That man knew I was dazed and didn’t know what to do and he came and helped me. Ellis had always made good money and because of that his children always received maximum Social Security benefits. One good-sized check came to me for them. I used it to help support my children. It, at first, was almost as much as my check for teaching. I wasn’t able to save any of it for the individual children because I could just barely make it as it was. None of the children have ever questioned my use of the money. When the children entered college, they each began to receive a separate check which they kept to help them pay their school expenses. We could never have made it without those social security checks. One day Ann and I took a clock that had stopped to a jeweler to have it repaired. The jeweler showed me a lovely watch. Ellis had put it on lay away to give to me for Christmas. The jeweler insisted I take the watch. He said it was nearly paid for and he didn’t know what to do with it. That day, I felt Ellis beside me. It was such a good feeling. I had felt him close at his funeral too, but never again. I prayed and prayed, over the years, to feel his presence again, but I never have. I guess the Lord knows best. I couldn’t live a life waiting to feel Ellis near me. Evertons took me some places with them. Everyone in the ward was especially good to me. My dear friends Mary Harper and Jean Van Engelen were with me a lot. I couldn’t sleep well and neither could Jean. Also Wayne was away a lot. I would call Jean at any time and sometimes she called me. Many of these call were at three or four in the morning and we’d talk for an hour or more. Sometimes I’d get up at two or three, when I couldn’t sleep, and clean cupboards or scrub floors or iron. I felt terrible physically all the time and part of it was because I was only getting four hours or less of sleep a night. It was a terrible time emotionally too. I felt as if a part of me was missing. It was a good thing that I had so many children dependent on me and so much work to do that I never really got everything done. My children and my work were my salvation. I had taught Primary all the time I was in Nampa and continued to do it as long as we lived there. Jean Van Engelen was the Primary President. Our meeting were especially wonderful. They gave me a spiritual boost. Kenneth was a junior in high school. He was on the staff of the paper and was involved in many other activities. Ann was in the ninth grade and the pianist for the junior high choir. Dale and Carolyn were busy and settled in their school. While we were in Nampa, Kenneth and Ann belonged to a dancing class. On of the ladies in our ward had a very large, nice room in her basement. She taught the class there. Besides dancing, she taught the correct manners for a dance and for many other situations. Frequently, the group had a regular dance to which the parent were invited. It was fun for everyone. I did not have a degree and knew I must get one if I wanted to continue teaching. When summer came, I went back to school at the College of Southern Idaho in Caldwell. I went to school from about 8 A.M. till 12:30 A.M. Then I went to the Canyon County Court House in Caldwell and worked at the assessor’s office till 5:00. They were reassessing all property in the county and a school board member from Lone Tree helped me get the part-time job. Kenneth had worked for Jim in Othello one summer. The summer after Ellis’ death he went there again and took Dale with him. It was mean to send that little boy away, but I had to be away and Ann couldn’t handle him. Jim and Ileen were good to Dale and the farm was a good place to be. Ann took care of Carolyn and Roger. I had decided to stay in Nampa another year so Kenneth could finish high school. I just couldn’t move him for his senior year when he was involved in so many activities. I knew it wouldn’t be good, but I thought it would be easier to move Ann when she had two years of high school left than Kenneth with one. So I stayed at Lone Tree for one more year. Ellis and I had only once talked about what I’d do if he didn’t survive his surgery. I told him I’d move back to Pocatello where there was a university for the children to attend and where we were closer to relatives. Ellis had two brothers in Pocatello and my parents lived in Rigby. Ellis had reached the same conclusion and so he was satisfied. I continued to take one class each semester and returned to summer school and the assessor’s office the second summer. The second summer I also took a night class at Boise Junior College so I could have three years of college finished. It meant a higher step on the pay scale in Pocatello where I had gotten a job. Violet Chase was president of the P.T.A. Central Council in Pocatello and was instrumental in getting my job. I knew I could have gotten a job in California for a lot more money, but I didn’t even try. I was afraid I’d never be able to keep my children close to the church and raise them as I wanted to in California. The people in the Primary arranged for Dale to have an early graduation so he’d be finished with the Primary program before we left. They presented him with a Bible. Kenneth had all the fun of his senior year and all its culminating activities. I’ve seen many boys who lost a father when they were about sixteen, change their patterns of behavior. This was never a problem with Kenneth. He had good friends and he stuck to them. I never had any problems with him. I was pleased because I was asked to help chaperone Kenneth’s graduation dance in the spring of 1956. Ellis’ brother Ferron and his wife Muriel lived in Marsing, near Nampa. Ellis was especially fond of Ferron and we went to their farm home frequently. They were good to me after Ellis’ death. When it came time to move to Pocatello, Ferron borrowed a big truck from a neighbor, came in and helped us load everything. Kenneth had a good friend who came with us. He and Kenneth drove the truck to Pocatello. Ann rode in the cab with them. It was a long trip! In Pocatello, Amos had found a house for me to buy. It was in a perfect location. Dale and Carolyn could walk to Jefferson Elementary School. Ann to Pocatello High School and I to Emerson Elementary where I had been assigned to teach sixth grade. Kenneth used the car because he enrolled at Idaho State University which was clear across town. As soon as his classes were finished he went to work at Terrells Shoe Store where his father had worked. Amos had spoken to them about Kenneth to help him. We could also welk to town and church because our house on West Wyth was so well located. The location was great, but the house was not. There were two little rooms with partially dirt walls in the basement which Carolyn and Ann used. They were terrible, but private. Kenneth used a room that had been built on the back porch which had no heat. Roger and I shared the one mall bedroom. What had been the dining room we used for a combined bedroom for Dale and a TV room. That way, the TV was turned off early at eight or nine. We had a large living room and a fair-sized kitchen. We lived in this house five years. The first thing I had to do was find someone to take care of Roger. I took him to one lady’s house, but he was only there one or two weeks. He hated it. He’d run away and go home. Then we found another lady, dear Marvena Lords. She lived three blocks from our house. I could walk over with Roger, drop him off and continue on to the school. Then I’d pick him up when I came home. Marvena had a daughter, Sheila, who was Roger’s age—four. They liked each other and played well together. This wonderful lady took care of Roger during the school months for two year until he was ready to start school. Kenneth started college and worked at Terrells. He was active at the institute and had a fun year. Ann started as a junior at Pocatello High School. They had a good seminary program and she was active in it. She was secretary of the seminary her senior year and always accompanied the singing in her classes. She made some good friends and had a good time. She made some good friends and had a good time. She was never a problem to me—just a joy and a great help. Ann had terrible headaches for years. I took her to all kinds of doctors to be checked but no one could ever find the cause and help her. Years later, when she left home and no longer had the responsibility for the three younger children, especially Dale, her headaches stopped. So I can only assume her headaches were caused by what she had to do. I didn’t really leave her with the children a lot, but I guess it was too much. Carolyn started the fifth grade at Jefferson Elementary. She found a good friend around the corner from our house, Kathy Chambers. They have been best friends ever since. Dale too, started school at Jefferson. He was in the sixth grade. He had a teacher he especially liked. One night, about two months after school started, I went to P.T.A. dale’s teacher asked me when my husband would be coming to town. She needed to know to complete some records. She had been hounding Dale every day, in front of all the class, to get this information. Dale just kept saying that his dad was still working in Nampa, but he’d be coming soon. I guess he just couldn’t admit that his father was dead. I always thought that Dale was hurt by his dad’s death than any of the other children. For some reason he just couldn’t accept it. I enrolled for my first class at Idaho State University. I had to get a degree! From the time I first started classes at Caldwell till I got my masters at I.S.U. I took one class a semester, every semester for 17 years. I also went to summer school every summer except two. However, about a year after I came to Pocatello I switched majors from Elementary Education to English. I just couldn’t stand another stupid education class. The education classes at the College of Idaho were quite good, but the ones at I.S.U., with only two exceptions, were boring and useless. The English classes, beginning with one in Caldwell, were always great. In all those years I never had an English teacher who wasn’t both scholarly and stimulating. The switch did delay my degree, but it couldn’t be helped. The English classes were really a sort of recreation for me, and about all the recreation I had. I never left home at night except for class, later to work a little and still later, when most of the children were gone, to teach a mutual class. If I went to a movie or a basketball game, I always took the children. Most of the time when the children were home I was there too. When we had moved to Pocatello I decided I just had to get more sleep so I began forcing myself to sleep at least six hours every night. Almost at once, I felt better physically. I still felt terrible emotionally. Two years after Ellis’ death, three years and four and five years, I just felt worse all the time. I think the thing I missed most was companionship. Next, was not one to help me with the children. Sometimes, when I taught at Emerson, after school, I’d just sit on the steps feeling that I couldn’t, after a hard day, go home, prepare dinner and meet all the demands of my children all alone. We had moved into the first ward. It’s really strange, but for most of my life I’ve been in either a first or fourth ward. The people there were wonderful to us. Unfortunately, there was never a scouting program for Dale. No man really ever helped Dale or looked after him. I had thought Ernest would take Dale places with his sons, but he never did. I didn’t expect any help from Amos. Even Kenneth was not a help with Dale. For some reason they could not get along. For peace in the family, I just had to keep them separated as much as I could. I taught a sixth grade at Emerson School. They had given me all the problem kids and stuck me in a tiny room that had been used for storage. But I like the kids and got along fine. It was a good school year. Mr. Stauber was the principal. He was a wonderful man and I enjoyed teaching under him. I stayed at Emerson for five years teaching sixth grade, fifth grade or a combination of the two. I made two wonderful friends there who are still my friends, Sara Jones and Julia Christiansen. When the fall of 1957 came, Kenneth went on a mission to the Great Lakes Mission. Kenneth received his mission call August 26, 1958. He was gone for two years. He had a wonderful testimonial. The church was so full that the foyer was filled with people standing. It cost about $125 a month to keep him on his mission. Except for some help from Ann one semester that she dropped out of school, I supported Kenneth on his mission with no help from anyone. An old gentleman in the High Priests’ group from the first ward visited me regularly during those two years to see the they couldn’t help me. It was kind and good of him, but I felt it was my responsibility. I found, however, that I couldn’t quite make it. So I went back to part-time waitress work. One night I called the Green Triangle and asked if they had any openings. They told me to come in next Saturday night. So while Kenneth was on his mission I worked there about every Saturday night. I’d go out about seven or eight and work until about 5 A.M. I was teaching the Sunday School class that Dale and Carolyn were in. They had been unable to have a permanent teacher because the class was so large (about 20 kids) and so hard to handle. I taught them the five years that I lived in the first ward. I was just moved along with the class. It was so hard to sleep two or three hours, then get Dale up and, usually, drive him to priesthood meeting, come home, get dinner started, the rest of us to Sunday School, teach that hard class and then come home and get dinner. By then I would just collapse. But at least I was able to keep Kenneth on his mission with that one night of work. I always cooked a good dinner at night. Sometimes they were fast, but they were hot and nourishing. We always had a fun time at dinner. Everyone had so much to say. We said our family prayer at this time. On Sundays I always cooked a special dinner with some good dessert. I also saw that each of the children had breakfast before school. They always had orange juice and eggs, toast or cereal on school days. On Saturdays I’d cook hot cakes or waffles or bacon and eggs. I saw so many kids come to school hungry or angry or both that I made a special effort to see that each of my children started the day off with a good breakfast and in a good mood. Sometimes I really had to hang on to my own temper. We had few colds and little sickness. I have always felt that the good nutrition was the reason why. Our house on West Wyeth was a fun place for Dale and Roger because of the hills right behind it. Summer and winter they had fun. The older boys I the neighborhood slept out a lot. Ann graduated from high school in 1958. Dale and Carolyn finished at Jefferson and moved on to Irving Junior High. The year Dale started at Pocatello High School was the last year we lived on Wyeth. That was one of the best years I ever had with Dale. He was difficult to raise. I always felt he demanded as much time and attention as the other four children combined. In the fall of 1958 Roger started school at Jefferson. We got a puppy so he wouldn’t have to be alone when he came home from school. The puppy was our good old Queenie. Mrs. Tolman, who lived next door, kept an eye on Roger until I got home from school. He was usually pretty good, but one time he was playing with matches and set a chair on fire. He put it out by himself. He was a sweet boy. We all loved and babies him. After Ann’s graduation from high school she went to ISU on a nursing scholarship she had won. But nursing was not for her. She went three semesters and then dropped out of school for one semester. This was when she helped me with Kenneth’s mission expenses. Ann had an especially good time at the Institute while she attended I.S.U. About three years after moving to Pocatello, I was getting ready to go somewhere with the three younger children one evening when I realized I was looking forward to the next few hours with pleasure. It had taken five years, but I began to enjoy life again. Kenneth was released from his mission September 23, 1960. He had a wonderful mission. He loved the time that he spent teaching the gospel. He gained a fervent testimony of the gospel which has helped and sustained him ever since. He went back to ISU and working at Terrells. He had a really great time at school, with his social life centered about the Institute. He was president of Lamba Delta Sigma, the L.D.S. fraternity, in his senior year. He met a lovely young lady named Sarah Lloyd and the decided to be married after his graduation. I graduated from I.S.U with a BA in English Education. My teaching certificate was a secondary one. I was glad to get my degree, but I did not go to the graduation exercises. It had taken so long to get, that a ceremony was anti-climatic.
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